The Survival of Art & the Problem with Holograms


Honestly, wow I would never expect that to have been a title of one of my blog posts. But as I’m sure most of us out there know, Tupac made a stunning appearance at Coachella. I didn’t quite know what to make of it at first except: HOLY SHIT.But honestly…the shock has worn off a little. And instead money-hungries have developed another new way for us to throw out dollars at something. Some may be informed that not only has Tupac been rumored to go on tour, but now Three Eye (of TLC) and the King himself are possibly taking up the limelight as well.

This hologram thanks you very much...

This causes nothing but absolute horror to me. I hate using this blog to be a negative nancy, but I mean come on? Remember how everyone freaked out about Britney Spears lip syncing her music? Wasn’t that not too long ago? So why do people knowingly want to pay to watch a fake performance? What’s so different about seeing this shit on stage instead of on your television set at home? Many homes in America have amazing graphic displays, wonderful audio, even 3D sometimes, and thankfully, has no sweaty armpits in my face or that asshole 7 foot monster standing right in front of me.

Smells like excitement.

All this is are people wanting to make money. OUR money. Now you can go see Justin Bieber AND Elvis? How the fuck much is that going to set me back?

All forms of mainstream entertainment, in my opinion, are having a violent death. How can no one see the strangulation of the industries? There pretty much are no such things as famous painters and sculptors anymore except for those who are actually in those fields. So our mainstream experiences with art is through music, television, movies, and education. Well throw education out the window since our schools are constantly facing more and more problems with keeping art programs running. So we have music, TV, and movies. TV…god all this reality crap? Movies…are you kidding me? Music…is that really music?!

What are you talking about? My son is a Guitar Hero prodigy!

All of it is recycled, easy, mass-produced bull. The ingenuity of having a unique idea has suddenly lost its importance. And why? Because those who are shelling out the money to create all these forms of art don’t want to take bloody risks. Making a second Smurfs movie that was already based upon a cartoon my PARENTS watched as children is a safe bet. But independent films like Sexy Baby are rarely even discussed yet they provide more truth, thought, and insight than the Smurfs, another super hero movie, Snooki, Toddlers and Tiaras, American Idol, and Katy Perry combined.

Oh NOW I remember why people like her...she's so...nice!

Tupac, Elvis, and Three Eye are all just more pawns being played out in the safe, mass-produced, take it like it is art game. I don’t know about you, but I’m sick of it. The last popular movie that I saw that made me think was Avatar. Which yes, caused controversy, made people think, and led to different opinions. THAT’S what art should be giving us. THAT IS EXACTLY WHY art is so FUCKING important. It makes us think beyond the box.

Holograms? They’re literally stuck in a fucking box. Vincent Van Gogh died a long time ago…so I go see his paintings in museums. John Lennon is one of my favorite musicians…so I listen to his music. These people who they are portraying are DEAD and most likely in a box in the fucking ground so can they please, just stay there?

Details are everything, darling.


Over the weekend I attended a fashion show in Los Angeles. I must say it was interesting popping my fashion-virginity.ImageI was amazed by the enormity and complexity that is the fashion world. And what I glimpsed was a very small portion of that. Before the show there were speakers motivating these current fashion students about the progression of technology of their industry and the potential effect it could have to revolutionize the way the world works. The more I thought about it, the more I was thinking how truly powerful fashion is—beyond our normal contemplations.ImageWhat I imagined I was going to be experiencing during this fashion event was something out of this world…that is simply in what fashion is…fashion. I mean isn’t it just silly little people running around creating extravagant and unwearable clothes that only they seemed to think were actually fashionable?Image
But how naive was I to think that fashion was some sort of fantasy and alter reality that has no connection to relative issues within this planet, economy, culture, etc? Instead I learned of how fashion is exactly like every aspect of our world today. Inefficient, outdated, crumbling, with it’s hope of making everything look like it’s all OK but sniveling at it’s own discrepancies by pointing out problems with everything else but itself.  See the fashion industry does things never in the moment. They are constantly planning for what’s next, guessing by what’s going on around them what will come of it. I mean fortune-telling is cool and everything…but how does that make any real sense? This is what the speakers were illustrating: fashion has the potential to be completely revolutionized from this “seemingly working process.”ImageIn truth though, the fashion industry at the moment is anything but that. It is polluting our world terribly through the rotting piles of undesirable clothes in landfills, clogging our water with chemicals and creating enormous health concerns to third world countries that bear the burden of making our clothes. Clothes today are wasting our energy and our resources on creating products that not only carry the previously mentioned burden but also oppress our expression through mass production and mirror our social problems that we as a global society face.Image
(Picture via Goodlifer) The speakers moved on to talk about a “revolutionary” idea of dressing the individual. There is extreme potential for this through advancements in Kinect for Xbox technology by a company called Styku. Through the camera your body is able to be scanned by the camera while it takes your measurements and creates a literal digital avatar catered to your likeness. From there, clothing templates would allow a customer to select a style, see it on themselves, make adjustments, chose colors, patterns, etc. Once the customer is satisfied and placed an order, it would be custom made for them with the information distributed to a factory somewhere nearby. It would then be shipped and delivered within a 72-hour waiting period. In addition, a new technology has been created so that dyes can be made without water, eliminating cesspools of dye contaminating millions of gallons of water every year.
Not only would this be revolutionary in the way of the environment, but in a complete social aspect as well. Firstly, it becomes clear that people would have greater freedom of expression. But quickly it also leads to another instrumental effect: economical. Who’s going to be able to afford this clothing? And what would happen to traditional ways of shopping and making clothes? You better believe the conglomerate giants of fashion are not going to let the end of retail happen easily. This is what would happen: the end of retail clothing. And what would come to be of all of these third world countries who have been adjusted to supporting themselves on meager salaries of sweatshops? Would their despair only grow while the United States grows further independent? (These speakers were suggesting all production of clothing could be moved domestically.) What’s most important? Individuality in America or the “better” being (if you can even call it that) of people in third world countries? Destroying retail and eliminating thousands of jobs and destroying dreams for the sake of cleaning up Chinese water? No matter how you play it someone wins and someone loses. Or eventually we all just lose. It’s like fashion can translate to all the big questions of the world right now…

All these details seemed to be spinning around in my head. I realized my impact on this earth as a person. I felt hopeless and overwhelmed by all of the world’s problems when I was sitting watching a fashion show. But what I saw from all the people around me is what exactly like it sounds like: people. We as people have changed and altered so much by our decisions as a whole, we again have that potential. Sitting there after the speakers finished and watching the fashion show I felt excitement and euporhia. It was fun and different; simple yet so intensely complex; I reveled in how it tugged at emotions I deal with in my general life again. The details came fluttering back. They always do. Details are everything, darling.

High on Life


Today I had the pleasure of getting to see one of my favorite new artists: Gotye.ImageOk, ok, I know some of you are probably rolling your eyes or already moving on to the next blog. But seriously…he’s awesome! I DID find him through the radio per se. However, I actually go through an artist’s album and make sure I judge them fully. And what I found was electronic, contemporary, indie, and a whole bunch of awesomeness I can’t quite give a word to.ImageTo be quite honest, it’s been awhile since I’ve been to a concert sober. It’s just one of those environments that young people tend to use to get fucked up. Well I went with my dad today sooo that wasn’t happening. It’s not that I was worried about not enjoying the show. I knew I would. I was just curious how it would alter my experience.ImageI found that it was an adventure I haven’t had the pleasure of enjoying before. Growing up I appreciated the amazing concerts my parents took me to, but I was never able to really enjoy it. There are just so many nuances to music that you can’t learn but grow into, to respect, to understand. And honestly not being loaded out of my mind helped as well.ImageI felt the music like I’ve never felt. It’s something indescribable. I felt so…high in my own way. In my own realm and definition and meaning. It was seriously that moment of: high on life.ImageIt was an amazing feeling. It was refreshing and so utterly positive. There is nothing like that moment where your happiness is truly yours. Something that lives inside of you and is warm, loving, comforting. I would say content but it was like I was giddy and excited that I was content.ImageThank you, Gotye. This picture (with the artist directly below the drawing) perfectly sums up my feelings of euphoria. I’ll let it speak for itself.

Memories Can’t Wait.


Why is waiting so difficult?ImageIt seems like such a simple task. We all do it everyday. Lines at the store, your friend to go out for the night, that person you’re supposed to spend the rest of your life with, death: we all wait for them. But for me it can seem so overwhelming.ImageI’m not very good at waiting. I’m impatient. I don’t really know how to handle my time. The lulls in my life seem like abysmal pits. I feel like I’m waiting for my life to really start. I’m 21. How has that not happened? This is my life…why don’t I take it by the horns and make some excitement? Because I’m waiting.ImageI think part of my youth still doesn’t understand the wait. I guess we need waiting for context of those moments that are just the epitomes of “arriving,” that is to say that we have made it to that moment we were waiting for. But damn it really sucks.ImageI want to hold the one I love, have a mojito, have some sweet music lavishing the sun on my face, feel the sand in my toes, the wind through my hair, holding in the laughter from seeing a puppy splashing in the ocean. I live for those moments. I haven’t had one of those moments in awhile. I know it’s about me going and finding those moments. If you’re tired of waiting then you wouldn’t wait, would you? Well…honestly…I’m as close to that moment as I have ever been in my life. So why am I so scared?

( first two artworks done by myself)

Fantastic Planet


ImageToday was a day of reminiscence and of love. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, but throughout the day my spirits were bitter sweetly warmed. This afternoon, I attended the memorial of an old friend’s father who was very prominent in the musical side of my congregation growing up, Ray Delapaz. The service was heart warming–people surrounded and brought together by the love of this one man.ImageIt has been quite some time since I’ve last visited. & it was wonderful to be surrounded by some of the people I knew growing up. It hadn’t occurred to me how much these “strangers” I always imagined were really people who shaped my childhood through this community. I greatly appreciated it. It reminded me of a home I could always return to and that I most likely will find myself nested in eventually.ImageBut I think what I was most struck by today was an older couple sitting a few rows in front of me. As Ray’s song, “Este Noche” played, the husband lifted his hand and stroked his wife’s hair. Tenderly, he tousled her gray curls and then stroked her cheek. And softly the song cooed in Spanish, “Este noche si me muero, yo me muero bailando…” “Tonight if I die, I will die dancing…”

Rest in peace, Ray.

Sixes and Sexes


The sixes in the morning for some reason are my favorite.

I wouldn’t say that I’m any sort of a morning person…at all. But I immensely enjoy waking up at 5-6 in the morning to enjoy that simple hour. I think I enjoy the calm, the peacefulness that is sunrise.

It’s become habitual at this point to wake up now. Fuck around for an hour or so. And head back to bed.

But it hasn’t even been that long since the habit began.

There have been a lot of shifts and shakes in my life the last few weeks. It’s left my dreams plagued by old dreams, then taunted by new ones. They’ve become reflections of that piece of heart that just aches–the extension of those words I can’t say to anyone, of shit that I need to confront, stuff that only I can work out through myself.

& it wakes me up.

So here I am awake.
It’s 6:02AM.
My hour, technically, is over.
I enjoyed it.
But it distracted me. Normally I don’t think of these things. I will watch Spongebob or SVU.
But I enjoyed it.

…but I don’t think I’ve made it much closer to curing my sixness blues…

Misses your kisses.


It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged. My life, honestly, just hasn’t been that interesting. I wanted to wait for something to happen instead of me just having some melancholy bullshit whining about not being in Costa Rica. (OK but I do insanely miss it.)Image

(I MUST GET THIS TOP…) As of today though, I have something to talk about I suppose. I got a job at New York & Company. Possibly another at Chaffey College doing tutoring. Life slowly is getting it’s gears going again. Image

It’s difficult to grow up. Not my favorite thing right now. Maybe I mean settled life. Travel life is just so…epic.
Image My next project. Wish me luck. &  cheers to having more to say in the future.


“I saw the sun, it open up my eyes. I saw the sun.”
Yesterday was an amazing day. I was able to hike up Volcan Concepcion on Nicaragua´s Isla de Olmetempe.  It is stunning here. And the views from the top are unreal. It took ten hours round trip for my hike. I also slept for ten hours and I am still utterly exhausted. Not to mention sore in places I had no idea could be sore just from hiking.
But I had to scale rock face, fall on my ass a couple of times, see monkeys running around a volcano, peered into a crater, saw the Pacific Ocean from the top…
I have rarely felt completely proud of myself but when I was riding in the van bus back to my hostel, I really did. On the speakers came blasting, “I saw the sun, it open my eyes. I saw the sun.” It was absolutely the perfect song for that moment. I could see the sun setting off in the distance and the wind was gushing through my hair… You can´t trade a moment like that for anything.
However, I do leave very soon for home. It is saddening but exciting because it only means the next chapter of my life. Turkey…Korea…somewhere…here I freakin´come!

Monkey business.


My life forever changed today. I was questioning studying zoology but now I know my passion for animals is something I feel is so a part of who I am. The connection you feel to them can be so uplifting. Animals don’t have those same burdens that humans put on themselves. However, the emotions that we do share can seem so much more intense.
Today I went to an animal rescue for Costa Rican animals: monkeys, raccoons, cotais, birds, big cats, sloths… So many kinds it was amazing. It’s a non-profit organization and all the animals that are able to be released are released (meaning it is not a sanctuary). I was able to take a tour of the place hosted by a man of the name Charlie. It was breath taking. Not only is the place beautiful in itself but the love it radiates makes you leave with your cheeks aching.
I was able to stand face to face with a sloth, remove a tree frog from my friend’s shoulder, have my hand licked by a deer, gaze into the eyes of a pit viper, and most amazing I shook hands, played with, fed bananas, and even kissed howler monkeys. It made my day. It made my trip. I will never forget that experience.
All of the monkeys I met today were orphans. All of them just want to be monkeys: run around and play, eat fruit, and most importantly be loved. Such simple requests yet everyday life becomes harder for a howler monkey and so many more of the rainforests’ impressive creatures. I hope that someday I can volunteer or do something to make a difference in animals’ lives. They are so special and can teach us as much as they can learn from us, maybe even more.
(Pictures will be here when my friend gets home to Holland in December. Can’t wait!)



Today I saw a rainbow. Archo iris in Spanish. I adore that word.
It has been such a beautiful last few days. The kind that shake your heart and blow your mind. On the drive from San Jose to Puerto Viejo we must have gone through dozens of different climates; each with their own trees and altitude and rainfall and animals. The thing they all shared was their “greenness.”
Today my best friend in Costa Rica is leaving me. Chad the Loco Mono. My heart breaks. It is so rare in this world to find someone as special as him. I have been blessed to share my experiences with him. On all of my trips thus far he’s been there to all of them. I am so happy to have made a lifelong friend.
Also, my camera broke. Depressing because it has seen a lot of places with me. Pura vida. Now I have disposable cameras and it’s kind of fun and different. I’m looking forward to having them developed.
I held a toad last night and it was awesome. Today is so nice and sunny. I want to see a toucan. Wish me luck.